Caitlyn recalls the morning after winning the 1976 decathlon. At the time, she stood naked in front of the mirror at her Montreal hotel. "It disgusted me," she reveals, "I was big and thick and masculine. The rest of the world thought it was this Greek god kind of body. I hated it. But it's what I was given, so I just tried to do the best I could with it."
During the interview, the former "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" star holds her right hand about four feet off the floor and says, "Little Caitlyn has been in there since I was this big. Sometimes she raised her cute little head more than others. I was female inside, but I wasn't an effeminate male. So I could hide easily in the male world. My life was distraction after distraction after distraction. Being a macho male was a way for me to try to convince myself that the woman living inside of me really isn't living inside me. Obviously, it didn't work."
"I was always considering plastic surgery," she adds, "When you're gender dysphoric, you're constantly looking at yourself and seeing things that don't look right."
But Caitlyn still loves her old self. "I loved Bruce," she explains, "I still love him today. I like what he did and the way he set an example for hard work and dedication. I'm proud of that part of my life. But this woman was living inside me, all my life, and it reached the point where I had to let her live and put Bruce inside. And I am happier, these last 12 months, than I've ever been in my life."
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