Galaxy

2 Aug 2016

Transgender dad who started relationship with girlfriend as a female is now happy to be a great dad

Posing happily with their three-year-old daughter, dad Dade Barlow and mum Tiffany Grimes look like any other contented family.
But Dade was born female, and when the pair first got together in 2008 theirs was a lesbian relationship.
After realising he was transgender, Dade began his transition to becoming a man aged 29 in 2011 - just before Tiffany became pregnant using a sperm donor.
Life coach Tiffany, 41, says: "When Dade told me he wanted to be a man, we nearly split. I'd left my previous husband because I believed I was gay - but I loved Dade and stood by him. Now we have our daughter, we're happier than ever."
Electrical engineer Dade, 33 - who has had full gender reassignment surgery - adds: "I couldn't keep living a lie. I'm so grateful Tiffany supported me."
Dade, who grew up in Arizona, USA, and prefers not to reveal his female name, had always felt uncomfortable as a girl.
He says: "Mum called me her 'beautiful little butterfly,' which I hated. I dressed like a boy from the age of three and when I was older I wore a coat all year to hide my figure."
Dade, who dated both men and women, says: "I didn't understand my feelings. I thought maybe I was bisexual, but I was scared of being different so I dated men. I even got married aged 18, but we split seven years later after drifting apart."
Divorcee Dade started talking to Tiffany online in 2008 and they met up a few weeks later.
Tiffany says: "I'd been married before, too, but realised I was also attracted to women and we split. I came out to my family and when I met Dade as a woman I was instantly attracted to her - she was petite and sexy."
Six months later, the pair moved in together. But in 2010, Dade realised he was transgender. He says: "We were watching a TV documentary about being transgender and it finally dawned on me that's what I was. Initially I kept it to myself because I was terrified of losing Tiffany."
A year later, Dade confessed. He says: "I told Tiffany I wanted to be a man. She was shocked, but I explained I couldn't live a lie."

Tiffany says: "I thought it might be a phase, but I realised Dade couldn't be himself as a woman. The first six months were hard, but I still loved him and decided to support him."
In November 2011, Dade began hormone treatment. Tiffany says: "He developed body hair, his voice gradually deepened and he became more muscular. I worried I'd no longer be physically attracted to him as a man, but that wasn't the case.
"We'd already talked about having a baby using a sperm donor and decided to go ahead - so while Dade was transitioning I was pregnant with our daughter!"
In April 2012 Dade had a double mastectomy, and daughter Zane was born six months later. Dade went on to have full gender reassignment in October 2014 to create a fully-functioning penis.Tiffany says: "It was hard to get used to all the changes. Our sex life was affected, but that was also because I'd just become a mum. We had therapy to deal with it and now we have a healthy sex life. We married in 2011 - the year Dade transitioned - and we're happier than ever now."
The couple documented Dade's transition on YouTube and are now looking forward to the future.
She says: "We've gone through so much, but most people have been supportive. People don't even realise Dade's past and are shocked when they find out!
"I'm so proud of him - we're just like any other family."

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